JohnKat Drabbles
by MustardPanda
Summary: Got bored. Wrote a Drabble inspired by a prompt. Decided to keep going. MustardPanda presents the things that float through the abyss of her mind in text format. T for language but honestly, with Karkat profanities don't exist, am I right?
1. Evidence

Hullo~! Mustard is here bringing you the very weird but not so wonderful plots that fester in the abyss her mind. As the summary says, I got bored one day and wrote a JohnKat Drabble on my iPad and decided to keep going with them. So whenever I'm bored or I have way too much time on my hands BAM! Drabble!

Disclaimer: MustardPanda does not own Homestuck or their characters. Any characters you recognise in this text are not the property of MustardPanda. I only own the plots.

On with the show!

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001. Evidence

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

The phrase echoed through the small apartment, rebounding off the paper thin walls and John was worried, for a split second, that the neighbours would complain. Again. There was scuffling in the other room; cupboard doors swinging and slamming and things being knocked over. There was a muffled curse, a slam and heavy footsteps bounding towards the bedroom where John sat idly on the bed, legs crossed and scrambling to tuck something under the pillows. The door to the bedroom swung open and there stood Karkat Vantas, rage-extraordinaire; breathing heavily and glaring poisoned daggers at everything his eyes were set on.

"You!" Karkat screeched as John fell into his line of sigh, marching up to him like a troll on a mission. "You fucking pathetic human! Where is it?!"

John stared up at his boyfriend, rocking a little on the fluffy duvet he was seated comfortably on. "Where's what, Karkat?" Karkat's brow twitched in annoyance. "Don't pull that shit on me, Egbert! You know exactly what's going on! Where is the fucking chocolate!"

A few weeks after the game ended, John made it his duty to introduce Karkat to human food. As it turns out, Karkat had quite the sweet tooth and quickly grew an attachment to milk chocolate, which was now a necessity to have in the apartment John and Karkat moved into together.

John feigned ignorance, glancing up at the enraged troll through his oversized glasses. "I don't know, Karkat. Maybe you ate it all."

"I would have fucking known if I ate it, would I?!"

John giggled slightly. "You never know, Karkat. You could have sleep-walked into the kitchen last night and gobbled it all up!" But Karkat wasn't listening anymore. He was staring intently at John's mouth, his frown letting up just a tiny bit. John noticed this. "Uh… Karkat?" Suddenly, the candy-blooded troll was on top of him, lips fused to his and tongue forcefully prying themselves into Johns mouth. He found the evidence. Karkat tasted his beloved candy in his matesprit's mouth, the warmth and sweetness combined was almost enough for him to forgive John. Almost.

"You have 10 seconds to run," Karkat growled as they broke apart after a prolonged make-out session. John was out the door before Karkat was even finished with his sentence.


	2. I'm Here

002. I'm here

Karkat knew from the first second that he was in love with John Egbert. Even when the hate had bubbled up inside him and confused his still young trollian think-pan, some part of him knew that he was beyond flushed for him. To have such a feeling requited was possibly the best thing that had happened to him, bar none. John was funny (when the pranks weren't being pulled on Karkat himself), kind, caring, adorable and just plain 'John'. John gave the impression of pure innocence, making it seem like nothing bad could ever happen to him on any day.

Today was not that day.

When John came home from grocery shopping, he was an absolute mess; clothes ripped and ruffled, hair mused, glasses askew. He was breathing heavily, like he had run all the way from the supermarket and he lacked the groceries he was going out to get. The worst thing about his appearance, the thing that struck fear and rage into Karkat's blood-pusher, were the tears glistening in his brilliant blue eyes and running in rivers down his face. "K-k-Kark-kat?" His voice was shaky and hoarse, so broken and terrified that it broke Karkat's heart. Dropping his coffee mug haphazardly on the kitchen counter, Karkat sped around the kitchen island to brought the trembling boy into his arms.

"Shhh, John," he murmured into his matesprit's ear, cuddling him protectively to his chest as to shield the poor boy from the world. "Shhh. It's okay. It's okay. What happened?" John sniffles and hiccuped, composing himself to tell Karkat the events that led to this. On the outside, Karkat was calm and reassuring but in the interior, he was outraged. He was livid. Someone had attacked John. Someone, some worthless motherfucker who didn't deserve the air they breathe, had pulled a knife on his boy. Some lowly, pitiful, dirt scraping BITCH of a human being had threatened to kill his Matesprit. Karkat wanted nothing more that to find this asshole and rip him to pieces with his bare hands.

But for now, he was going to sit on the lounge and hold his love; stroke his hair, fix his glasses and whisper sweet reassurances into his ear until he fell asleep in his arms. He kissed away the tears and bumped his forehead against John's, staring lovingly at his peaceful, sleeping face. "It's going to be okay, John. I'm here. I'll always be here."


	3. Funeral

*Whisperes* By the way, I still don't own shit. Thought you'd want to know.

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003. Funeral

Dad Egbert's death had hit him the hardest. Out of all the deaths and despair that game had brought him, his father and guardian's death had been the worst one to experience. The man who had raised him with love and care, always telling him how proud he was of him and how he knew he'd grow up to become someone great. The man who baked with Betty Crocker mix and hid his career from his son so that he'd grow up in a funner environment.

John felt empty when they won the game and was brought to their new Earth; one that consisted of humans and trolls working in a co-existence since Alternia and Beforus had been destroyed. He felt like there was a gaping hole in his heart weighing him down as he, his friends, the pre-scratch guardians, all twelve Beforus trolls and their dancestors walked through their new home planet, wondering what they had to do next. It was only when John found his old home, empty apart from the furniture he had left behind, did the realisation strike. His guardian was dead and he didn't come back like the ancestor troll's did. He was never coming back.

John was depressed. He shut himself in the house and refused to talk to anyone. Dirk, Jake, Dave and Rose organised a conjoint funeral for all of their permanently deceased and the day of the mourning was growing near.

Karkat slammed his knuckles roughly against the door to John's house. As his Matesprit, it was his duty to make sure John arrived on time, if at all. He was dressed accordingly in a black suit and tie, his hair combed into something presentable. He stood outside of John's house, tapping his foot impatiently as Dirk honked the horn yet again. "FUCKING STOP THAT! HE'S NOT EVEN OUTSIDE YET!" he screamed at the blonde. Dirk shrugged and dangled his arm out his car window, motioning with his hand for Karkat to hurry up. Karkat growled and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up further.

The door's lock clicked and slowly swung open to reveal his boyfriend, John Egbert. Karkat sighed. "Fucking finally! I've only been waiting here for 20 minutes! How much longer do you…" He trailed off, stopping in mid-rant at the sight of John.

He had cleaned himself up for the day but he still managed to look a mess. His hair was ruffled, his suit hadn't been ironed and he looked tired and crushed. Karkat sighed and fiddled with the cuff of his dress shirt. "You okay?" he mumbled, calming down considerably. John wordlessly shook his head, tears already welling in his eyes. Karkat took John's hand into his and rubbed John's knuckle with his thumb. "You still want to come? You can stay here if you want. You don't have to-"

"No," John rasped out, his voice sounding painful to his ears. "No. I… I want to go."

Karkat's gaze softened and he sighed. Bringing John's hand up to his lips, he placed a soft kiss to his knuckle and whispered an apology into the ivory skin. "Come on, let's go," he whispered after a while, leading the depressed boy towards the car, where Dirk had turned away to give the two a private moment.


	4. Puppy Love

004. Puppy Love

John giggled and squirmed underneath the nubby-horned troll as his grey fingers came to lightly skim the blue eyed boy's stomach. He laughed loudly as his ticklish spot was assaulted, thrashing against Karkat in a desperate attempt to escape. "K-Kark-kaaaat~! St-stoo-oo-oop~!"

Karkat grinned evilly as he pinned the taller boy to the mattress of their shared bed, fingers dancing across ivory skin. "Never," he growled in good nature, eyes skimming over John's flushed, laughing face. The two rolled around in their bed, sheets tangled and duvets thrown aside as they wrestled upon the soft surface.

John kicked Karkat away from his stomach and rolled over so that Karkat was pinned underneath him, both struggling to catch their breath. Karkat panted heavily and looked up at the ravenette, reddening irises locking with clear blue ones. They stared and stared, neither of them uttering a word because they didn't have to. Talking was such a trivial thing when they had each other. Slowly, Karkat leaned up and pressed his lips to John's. The kiss was sweet; full of love, adoration and pure puppy love. John melted into it. He relaxed, allowing himself to be lifted up and turned to lie against the pillows as the kiss slowly but surely became more intimate.

Moans filled the air, gasps and pleas escaped their parted lips and clothes were shed in a moment of passion. It was late in the night; the clock loudly ticking the hours towards midnight, they couldn't see each other very well, a draft wafted through the open window and the sheets had been lost in their evening fiasco but neither of them could have it any other way.


	5. Gloves

005. Gloves

"C'mon, Karkat!" John shouted as he all but plummeted down the street, cheeks rosy from the frosty winter air. He turned to Karkat, who was moping a little ways off, clearly frustrated by his antics. "Get that stick out of your ass and let's go!"

Karkat's gaze snapped up to give the boy a seething glare. "Fuck off, Egbert. There is, and never will be, any sort of appendage up my excretion chute," he growled, kicking a stray clump of snow from the pavement. John raised an eyebrow at his trollian boyfriend. "Really? Because I recall from the events prior to-"

"You fucking know what I mean, douchebag," the troll boy growled, cheeks reddening at what John was implying. The blue-eyed teen laughed and almost tripped over his own feet as he doubled over, wiping a fake tear from under his glasses. "You're adorable," he giggled, reaching over to ruffle Karkat's hair. Said teen scowled at the taller and pushed him away before continuing to walk in the direction John had pointed to before leaving the apartment. "How fucking far is this place again?"

"Not far to go," John reassured, shoving his bare hands into his coat pockets. "We'll cut through the park so we'll get there even sooner, yeah?" Karkat grunted to signal his understanding and a comfortable silence fell.

As they neared the park, John pulled his hands out of his pockets and blew on them. He had lost his gloves the day before and his hands were now starting to numb without the warm fleece covering them. Karkat noticed this and sighed. He grabbed John's right arm, stopping the two of them at the park gates, and slipped off his left glove. He tugged the soft material over John's hand and dropped it. "You're such a stupid idiot," he mumbled as John gave him a questioning look.

John tilted his head. "But what about my right hand? And your left?" he asked softly, eyeing Karkat as if staring at him long enough will give him the answers. "That's why we do this," Karkat grumbled, lacing his fingers into John's. John smiled brightly, the kind of smile that made his eyes crinkle slightly and Karkat's heart ache. "You're such a sweetie~" he cooed, grinning from ear to ear. Karkat scowled. "Don't make me take it back, asshole."

John only laughed as they held each others hands throughout the rest of their walk.


	6. Blackboard

006. Blackboard

"Hey look! A blackboard!"

"A what what?"

John tugged at the sleeve of Karkat's favourite black cancer sweater as he manuvoured around the tables laden with various trinkets, toys and antiques waiting to be auctioned off. Karkat spared the dusty black rectangle a glance before turning his gaze towards his overexcited matesprit. "It's a fucking black square thing. So what?"

John shook his head as he picked up a piece of chalk. "No no, watch. You can write and draw stuff on it. My school used to have tons of these in every classroom until the whiteboard was invented," he explained, writing his own name on the board along with Karkat's as an afterthought. The named troll raised an eyebrow at it before glancing over at John. John was smiling widely as childhood memories flooded back at the sight of the old school drawing board. Picking up another piece of chalk, Karkat added the words 'is a nooklicker' after John name. John grinned playfully and wrote 'likes to suck dick' after Karkat's name.

Both of them ginning like idiots, they continued their little charade, erasing each other attempts of getting back at the other and even drawing a dick or two in the corner. Eventually they erased the entire thing and write one last message before moving away from the blackboard, hand in hand.

'John + Karkat = 3 5ever'


	7. Muse

Just a quick AN: This prompt Drabble contains very little but still painfully obvious DirkJake. I couldn't help but slip that ship in because it's one of my OTP's and I'm _still_ pissed at Hussie for fucking it up.

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007. Muse

John sighed deeply as his eyes slowly fluttered open only to snap shut once more in order to shield themselves from the harsh sunlight pouring through the open window. He rolled over and tugged the covers over his head, not wanting to ever leave his sanctuary. As he lied there, sheets over his head and listening to the morning noises of the house, he began to muse over his life.

It had been 5 years since the end of SBURB and the start of a new universe, a new world and a new life for all the players. The trolls all went to live with their ancestors, though some were very protestant of this agreement. John and Jade had started a happy new life as siblings, living with Jake and Jane as their guardian's. The same went with Dave and Rose, though Dave constantly complained about being buried in smuppet ass 24/7 and Jake and Dirk pretty much lived in their own world together as their relationship problems were resolved.

John was more than happy for them, as we're everyone else, but he couldn't help but feel something else as he watched Dirk walked Jake down the isle, both glowing with love and happiness. He felt a longing that he had never felt before. It tormented him for days and days on end, washing away all thoughts on anything else but that until he finally realised. He wanted that. He wanted to be happy with someone else. Someone to take care of him and to show him love and to give them the same.

John realised that he wanted a relationship, but with who? Certainly not Rose, she had Kanaya. Dave had long fallen for Terezi, though Terezi was oblivious to his affections. Vriska was due to be 'married'. Jade was his sister so that was defiantly out of the question. He was lost on who he could turn to. Who he could fall for. John gave up and decided to wait. Wait for the right person to walk into his life and sweep him off his feet like a Nic Cage movie. What he didn't know was that he had already fallen for someone.

John rolled onto his back and peeked over the covers, staring up at the ceiling in thought as his musing jumped to the object of his affection.

Karkat had always been a good friend to him after the game ended. They stayed in touch and went to school together along with most of the other trolls and kids. John and Karkat slowly grew to become best bro's, inseparable in almost every way. They grew an attachment to each other that neither of them were willing to let go. That was the time that John Egbert had inadvertently fallen for Karkat Vantas.

Their friendship became strained after John had realised what had happened. John became awkward and self-conscious around Karkat and Karkat was quick to pick it up. Their arguments became prolonged. Their fights, vicious; until one day, Karkat was driven over the edge and said many things that should not have been said.

It seemed to be the end of their friendship. John avoided Karkat at every possible interval and slowly became depressed. He stopped eating, his grades dropped dramatically and eventually, John stopped coming to school. No one could crack him. Jade tried to reason with him only to exit his room with a forlorn expression. All eyes had turned to Karkat and the few people who were there during his and John's fight glared daggers at him at every turn. Dave had confronted him alone after one school day and demanded that he talked to John. Nobody really knew what happened but Karkat had arrived to school the next day sporting a black eye and a split lip.

It was 2 weeks later, while Jane was out with friends and Jade was staying at Feferi's house, that Karkat had turned up at John's doorstep, soaked to the bone by the pouring rain and wearing a look of sorrow and understanding. John had reluctantly let him in, given him a change of clothes as he threw his soaked jacket and jeans into the drier and offered him a coffee. They had sat in silence for many heavy, anticipating minutes until finally, Karkat spoke the words John was waiting to hear...

"Egbert! Get your lazy ass up; it's almost 11!"

John turned, blinking away the memories and grinned as he spotted the nubby-horned troll leaning against the doorframe, his trademark scowl gracing his features. John giggled, wriggling his way out of his cocoon of blankets to stand in his t-shirt and boxers, walking up to plant a sweet kiss on the smaller male's cheek. "Morning Karkat!" he chirped contently, leaning over to bump his nose with his. "I love you." Karkat's scowl disappeared and his features softened at those words. Planting a kiss on the pale boys forehead, he wrapped his arms around him and laid his on his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

"Morning John. I love you too."


	8. Magic

008. Magic

Tried to do an AU. I call it... Magician AU! (How original :P) By the way, this is humanstuck so Karkles's a pink fleshy, k?

Side Note: AMERICAN TERMINOLOGY! *flails on the floor in failure* If I've gotten anything wrong like the heights which I've probably bollocks-ed over completely PLEASE let me know! I had to do research, legitimate RESEARCH, because my brain can't comprehend the difference between metres and feet. I apologise in advance for my lack of American knowledge, if the 4 people who will read this are indeed American.

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For his last trick for the day, the bespectacled boy shuffled his deck of cards and spread them out a little, making a fan shape with the rectangular pieces of cardboard paper. He held them out to a dark haired girl at the front of the crowd with a wink as he proclaimed the cheesy line of "Pick a card! Any card!"

John Egbert was a magician, one of the best in America. He travelled the states with his case of tricks, going from city to city performing on busy streets, parks and shopping centres. He had also done many sold out performances in the big joints such as Vegas and NYC but usually found his place on the pavements of Texas, entertaining large crowds in Houston's Memorial Park.

The 17-year-old stood at 5"6 with spiky raven hair that had an unkempt and messy look, a wide grin revealed him to have pearly white bucked teeth, smooth skin that couldn't decide whether or not it was tanned or pale and stunningly bright, blue eyes behind oversized square spectacles. His usual 'work' attire consisted of a pleasantly coloured teal suit with a neon green tie, a black undershirt and shiny black dress shoes. To complete the look, John had pinned his favourite Slimer pin to his suit jacket.

The brunette he held the cards out to gave them a curious look before selecting a card at random, studying it carefully. The 4 of Spades. John grinned as he instructed her to show the card to the audience before putting the card back in the deck and John shuffled it a couple of times, the card being lost in a sea of its doppelgängers. Flashing the audience a bright smile, he positioned the cards up and they were flicked into the air. The audience gasped in surprise as John put his arm up and plucked out a card from the now tumbling deck, showing it to the girl who had picked it. "This your card?" he asked mischievously, his smile growing impossibly wider as she gasped excitedly and confirmed it was indeed the 4 of Spades. The audience applauded as John bowed and thanked the audience before he went to pick up his cards as the crowd dispatched, the performance over for the day.

A single, russet haired boy stayed behind, watching from a considerable distance as the magician picked up his cards. This boy had come to John's shows every time he happened to be in Texas. If John was in Houston, then so was he; standing a little away from the crowd as he watched John pull rabbits out of hats, make a steel sphere levitate the disappear and release a flock of doves out of a popped balloon. He watched, mesmerised, as John preformed each trick with ease and familiarity all the whilst enjoying every minute of it.

Karkat Vantas was a simple university student studying bioengineering. He was an aspiring biologist and worked relatively hard on his grades, which were high enough for the professors to get on their knees and kiss his feet. He came from a middle class family who were currently financially challenged, so Karkat found himself juggling two well paying jobs to pay for daily needs as well as college expenses.

Karkat was admittedly short for a man of 19, standing at around 5"5 with a head of messy reddish locks which refused to be recognised as either curly or straight and looked more like bed hair then anything else. His eyes were a true grey, an unusual but explainable eye pigment, and his skin was fair and easily burned. Karkat usually avoided sunburns by covering as much of his skin as possible, no matter how hot Texas got. Today he donned a black pullover hoodie with a grey cancer sign on the front, ripped grey jeans and worn sneakers.

Karkat watched the magicians movements with interest, studying the way he bent over to collect the cards and the way he fumbled with putting them back in the deck. For such a smooth performer, he looked quite the klutz. This was only proven correct when Karkat decided that today, of all days, was the day he walked up to the street magician he had grown to admire in more ways then one.

John jumped a mile when a low, grouchy voice resonated from his right as he bent down to scoop up a 8 of Clubs. "Huh?" he croaked intelligently. Almost dropping the moderately large stack he had somehow managed to collect in a short amount of time, John straightened up to see the cute brunette he had noticed come to all of his Houston performances staring him down. The shorter male stood awkwardly in front of John, hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie and his soft features scrunched up in a permanent scowl. "Idiot, I asked you if you needed help," he repeats in his smooth yet rough voice John can't help but repress a shiver to. It was the first time they'd actually communicated; John had never heard this mans voice and it suited him in a strange way. John shot the boy a smile and fiddled with the tattered edges of the cards in his hands. "Sure! I mean, if it isn't any trouble, a hand would be great!"

Karkat scoffed at his overly friendly tone, squatting down to pick up a few cards at his feet. "If it was such a fucking bother to me I wouldn't have fucking offered now wouldn't I?" he growled out of instinct and instantly berated himself for it. '_What the actual fuck are you doing, Vantas_?!' his inner voice screamed through the echoes of his mind. '_How fucking long have you been fawning over this bastard?! Do you want to completely fuck it up?!_' He was beyond relieved when the ravenette simply laughed and squatted down with him to continue collecting his cards. "Touché. But, unfortunately, there are two kinds of people in this world," he chuckled, making Karkat's heart spasm.

"My name's John, by the way," John stated, deciding that he'd better introduce himself to the cute brunette BEFORE he gets his number. Before today, whenever this particular guy came to mind, John reeled through different scenarios and 'what if's. Is there a proper way to get someone's number? Do you bring it up casually or do you have to ask them out first? What if he's not interested? What if he's straight? John shook the thoughts out of his head and focused on the 10 of Diamonds he was handling. "John Egbert."

"I'm Karkat," Karkat stated, gripping the cards he had a little too tightly then necessary. Finally, after almost a year of dubbing him 'the magician', he had a name to a face. John Egbert. It suited him, in a derpy sort of way. "Karkat Vantas."

"Karkat Vantas," John repeated, testing out the name. It rolled off his tongue smoothly and Karkat decided that he loved the way John said his name. "Vantas…That's not a very common name. Are you foreign?"

"Belarusian," the shorter male mumbled, taping the end of the cards to straighten them. "I come from a long line of Bela-Ukrainian folk. We go pretty far back. My family moved to America before I was born so I guess I'm gonna break that line."

"Cool," John chirped, tapping his stack as well. "There's nothing special about me. America blood through and through but I think at one point my great grandfather or something banged an islander chick." Karkat stifled a laugh as he collected the last card, the Ace of Hearts, lying to his left, moving his arm to hide his smile. John noticed this and beamed, feeling accomplished that he made Karkat smile. "Well, that's all of them," Karkat concluded, giving his stack one final tap before handing them to John. Their hands brushed for a brief second and sent sparks down both men's fingers. John stared at his hand for a moment before glancing up to see Karkat doing the same. Their eyes met and the two students felt a connection like nothing they had ever felt. It was stronger than the connection they had with their family, with their friends, with anyone. It felt so surreal; it was like magic.

"So, Karkat," John began, still unsure and nervous despite the obvious connection. "I… can I get your number and maybe we can get together sometime for coffee or something?" Karkat smiled a true, genuine smile that reached his eyes and made John's stomach do flips. "I'd love to, John. Just let me…" Rummaging though his pockets, Karkat produced a pen and took John's hand in his, palm up. Scrawling down in number in his messy handwriting, trying to make it a legible as possible, he inadvertently stroked John's knuckle with his thumb as he gave the boy back his hand. "Thanks," John replied happily, staring at the glorious string if numbers written on his palm. Pocketing the pen, Karkat flashed him another award-winning smile.

"Your welcome."


End file.
